go ahead… nudge me again… this time with your mouth open and teeth bared…

Good thing this is an “old” grizzly and not a “young, rash” one, good that her belly is full of fish (or grape nuts or whatever else bears eat…) so that the first thought is not food, but rather protection.  The only thing Cherry is not doing, according to the literature, is curling up into a fetal position.  Or standing up and standing the bear off, or punching the bear in the nose, all of which turn up as real advice when asked “what to do in this situation??”  Needless to say the jury is still out on that, and one should do anything one CAN do to keep oneself out of this kind of predicament!


But almost as if by magic, the canoe appears in panel two, sneaking up on the threatened bear, looks like Mark has the gun raised at the ready and is surveying the situation… “Cherry or the Bear, the Bear or Cherry… gosh why does life have to be so confusing at times…  My Trail-brain knows what is the ‘right thing to do,’ but golly wouldn’t Doc and Rusty be disappointed if I had to tell them that Cherry was sacrificed to the greater good?”

I Think Cherry is Toast…

But again I say, Cherry, Get your gun!  At the rate the mother Grizzly is closing in, and given her abilty to reach up 10-12 feet, not to mention her ability to climb or even to knock down the snag of a tree seen as sanctuary, all I can say is that Mark better be a damn good shot!


But oh, the selfless Cherry, content to shove Shelley’s white ass up the tree while she looks over her shoulder at the bear…  funny, but I recall Mark mentioning a special place to go camping, not far from a Ranger Station… not this hell hole full of danger around every corner…  OK, so most of what we are seeing here has been self-inflicted…  but still.

That’s no BEAR… That’s a GRIZZLY!!


Clever of Shelley to perceive that the smaller of the two bears is the cub… the cute, round, oversized ears that need to be grown into is clearly the give-away here… and that’s right, Cherry, make sure tht Shelley RUNS so that the bears can give chase and Mother bear can teach baby bear how it’s done- how we keep bellies full and energy up… but then there are always those misconceptions about Bears and what to do when confronted… climbing a tree is a shaky plan at best, especially when it involves having to beat the bear TO the tree and then actually CLIMB said tree…

Cherry, where’s your damn gun?  You had it when you went running from camp inferno!


But Mark & Wes are almost there, and Mark is packing, at least he was before… 


oh. look. a. bear. we. better. get. there. fast.

Well, if there was ever a time to over-emote and use REALLY LARGE FONT, it would be, like, right now.  But I suppose not… And Cherry, what exactly ARE you doing with your hands?  Shielding your eyes from the what? The sun?  Given the pallet chosen for these Armageddon quality scenes, I would assume that the sun has been blotted from the sky…


I see by the ribbing and the construction that Mark and Wes are traveling in style- the model a-45 Old Town Canoe- which again was stored carefully for the next time the owner of the “abandoned” cabin hiked in.  Won’t they be surprised to find their canoe missing, but I suppose not- not when they don’t take the time to lock it up!

If a thought bubble were to pop up over Wes’s blonde locks, I imagine it would say something like, “You go, Bear! My evil plan is almost coming to fruition, even if it means that I might be stuck out here in the woods, Survivor style for a few more weeks… at least I won’t have to serve that spoiled brat breakfast in bed any more…”

But then we will probably never learn who the blonde in the frame on the bedstand is…     frame


Mommy Bear not Happy…

Oops, forgot the Bear family in the Disney/ Bambi Montage the other day… Mommy Bear looking a might pissed off, and Cherry, WHERE is your GUN?!? You had it a couple of frames ago, and now there isn’t even a glimpse of it!


It would seem that Shelley really has only two “looks” (hey one more than Zoolander, but OK, then…) 1) The “I am pissed and deprived and my cell phone doesn’t work” and 2) “I feel a massive migraine coming on,” an example of which is being displayed nicely in Frame 2…

But guess what?  The Canoe won‘t hold all of you!! Ha!  This will force them to play the “cannibals and missionaries” game trying to see how they cross the lake without getting eaten…  only this time it has to do with Bears and other top predators being chased to the lake shore by the massive forest fire!

Best. Trail. Ever.

Wow!  That’s going to leave a ‘mark’ (Trail that is, heh, heh…) Take THAT, Shelley!  And for all your city slicking, cell phone checking, outdoors hating ways!  Stupid?  Who or what are you calling stupid, bitch?  I tell you I am in control here… as if my auburn highlights don’t send a strong enough signal!  I am the ALPHA! Take heed!


Do you think Cherry is really sorry?  I don’t.  I think she’s been wanting to bitch-slap Shelley since the night she had to serve her dinner at Lost Forest and play “The Good Wife” while Mark and Wes played “Hide the Bowie Knife…” under the table during coffee and desert… So STAY CALM, Shelley.  Your histrionics, told-you-so’s and recriminations are NOT going to save our sorry asses from the Wolf/ Moose/ poor camping fire/propane stove configuration decision resulting in a conflagration situation…


Run, Bambi, Run!

OK, so a while back I was suggesting that what was needed here was a little “Disney Magic…”

What I had in mind were flying cars, maybe a pumpkin that turns into a coach, anything to help out our intrepid campers…  But instead we get a scene right out of the Disney Classic, “Bambi,” where ‘evil man’ has set the forest aflame and the animals, large and small, of all possible genus, are sent running for their lives…  Or did the artist simply go to the “Mark Trail animal clip art collection” and start to cut and paste?  I mean, really? What do we see?  Grouse cavorting with Raccoon shacking up with White Tail?  Not likely…


And as Cherry and Shelley head toward the lake, possibly to choose a fate of drowning and hypothermia over being fried to death, we see that Cherry had the foresight to put a jacket on and grab the ol’ Peacemaker.  Apparently Shelley only brought one outfit- the obnoxious green slacks paired with purple shirt…  I wonder if she had time to throw on all the layers, including that itchy turtleneck sweater?

But did she grab her phone?