Uncle Doyle?! I know Uncle Doyle!

Aboard the Shur Ketch3… We find Ken and Kelly- Ken, a washed-out, washed-up hippie turned substitute high school biology teacher with enough left in his trust fund to afford a modest ocean-going fishing craft, and Kelly, his latest, uber-impressionable target… “You like fishing boats?” he asked one day after class in the same creepy voice a guy might utter, “You like Sport Utility Vehicles?”  Or it could be that this is Uncle Doyle’s boat, and they take turns “ketching” their unsuspecting prey- Tiger Shark being a euphemism for, well, let’s keep this at least PG-13…

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And with all the scientific precision one might expect to be applied in the stalking of a Tiger Shark, Ken is keeping one eye on the GPS and the other on his “prey…”  with the idea that Tiger sharks school (do they?) and stay in the same spot (probably not…)

Meanwhile Uncle Doyle is busy touring with the latest Debbie, doing his best to stay sober and to not listen to the voices inside his head…

Can I see some ID, Please??

I see Barbie, I mean Kelly, forgot to wear her pants today, and just how old is she anyway?  Do her parents know that she is cavorting with a pony-tailed, bearded, smooth talking shark angler with a knack for naming boats?  Not to mention creative, since this is the “Shur Ketch3” which means that there must have been a 1 and a 2, not necessarily sailing under the same flag…  not that one has to register the name of small craft like this, so we can probably assume that Ken has traded up, bringing the name forward each time…

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“The middle of the Gulf of Mexico…” Is she speaking literally or figuratively?  One reason that this might be “the spot” is that it’s hell and gone from the Deep Water Horizon disaster of 2010 and the waters haven’t been fouled…  so are they truly a couple hundred miles off shore, or is she employing hyperbole??

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Well, these two are clearly working on the tip of Maslow’s Hierarchy…

All their base, physiological and safety needs are met here, apparently.  They are going for esteem and self actualization like it’s their right…  I guess we all measure things in our own terms, so who am I to judge what makes one whole??

I must also call out how resplendent they both look in their almost matching, t-shirts-of-single-palette look…  Pink for Kelly, Lavender for Ken.  You know, it’s really too bad her name isn’t Barbie…

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Catching sharks is like hand-raising baby squirrels?  That’s an intriguing notion…  where does one buy squirrel formula?  How tiny are those nipples? If you are really interested, here is a step by step treatment of the process… But what about hand raising the orphan shark pups once Ol’ Ken here takes out the mother??  Or is the father who rears the hatchlings?  Or do either of them care?? Oh, so much to learn!!

Could it be? No!!

Or yes!  Kelly Welly? Perhaps a bit premature in my thinking, but for those of you needing a reminder, recall that Kelly Welly is the reporter always tagging along with Mark and trying to scoop his stories, and while Mark never has to pick up the phone to ask for work, Kelly is a constant thorn in Editor Bill Ellis’ side begging for an assignment… A funnier moment has Kelly waiting in Mark’s hotel room with Mark in the shower!  Nope, nothing to see there, kids… unfortunately that’s the truth…

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But I am sure I have gotten waaay ahead of myself here, and let’s hope the disappointment is not too great when Kelly turns out to be a guy!

Well, who am I to doubt what’s trending???

I have to admit I saw yesterday’s strip and I gave a little bit of an eye-roll and moved on…  But today I set about my morning routine and googled “octopus…” and what pops up, but this:

Octo crab

Here’s video gone viral and if you wait ’til the end, you will hear the videographer sum things up nicely…

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So with mystery solved, (at least the mystery of what inspired the last couple of days,) we shall see where this takes us.  Far away from Lost forest, that’s for sure…

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Which is fine, since I think we need a little time away from the crushing reality that Mark faces up to on a daily basis- time to let him range free again- to be seduced and bedeviled by bad people!

Aaaand… there you have it…

It was only after a serious pause and more than a dollop of consideration, but Mark has finally recognized Rusty as his son…Not the fruit of his own loins, to be sure, but then that would require him to actually have , um, relations with Cherry, and that whole notion still leaves Mark a bit confused…

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But let’s be clear, Rusty, you did not jump, you dove into shallow water.  Not very bright and not in keeping with the “safety jump” taught in any junior lifesaving class…

So with Barney and Betty looking on in confusion, still wondering what the hell they did to deserve being relocated, Father and son go home to greet Mom and recount lusty tails of fallen trees and watery rescues…